Lyrics

You called me the man of many holes

Holes you could see right through

We sat up drunk and I finally heard

How much NYC means to you

I can't tell and you don't know

The why in how we've been

But all these years and many things unsaid

Have shepherd us to where we are today

Is this my space to bring you closer so that I can hold you longer

You can breathe and I can linger

Share your burden, I can take it

A winters night, a darkened beach

Headlights strobe us as we run the sands

Finding holes in the ocean waves

Places we can always dive into

Talked all night, plans and dreams escaped

We were young, no clue where it would lead

Some would say that we ran away 

But we ran toward nothing that we knew

Is this my space to bring you closer so that I can hold you longer

You can breathe and I can linger

Share your burden, I can take it

Is this my chance to hold you closer so that I can love you longer

You can breathe and I can linger

Share your burden, I can take it

Well there’s no reason for the tears in your eyes

You made some choices that left me wondering why

And it’s no problem, if you want to keep things that way

A part of me had thought that you might want to stay

You could be with me or go it alone

I’m won’t be begging but thought you should know

Maybe we just need some healing

Understand we both have feelings

Do we hold on tight or just let go?

I heard your stories, all your reasons and rhymes

Detailed explanations of who, where and why

And I’m just wondering, can we leave it behind

Begin a new chapter with a new frame of mind

You could be with me or go it alone

I’m won’t be begging but thought you should know

Maybe we just need some healing

Understand we both have feelings

Do we hold on tight or just let go?

Make up your mind

Don’t hesitate, make me wait

I just need to know where we stand

There’s not much time

Reunify, or say goodbye

If your moving on, I’ll be on my way too

We could be together or just go it alone

I’m won’t be waiting long and I thought you should know

Maybe we just need some healing

Understand we both have feelings

Do we hold on tight or just let go?

Make up your mind

There’s something about this and everything I’ve done

Where there’s hope for the future and yet I have none

I want you beside me, everything will be OK

For me to stand silent in the things that I say

How can you help me when I can’t understand?

That all of this biting, is not you being mad

I want to be someone, to be understood

And loved by the masses, not scorned by the few

Helpless is helpless, alone is alone

There’s a time for forgiveness, but not on my own

I’ve wanted for so long, to say this thing right

I’ve not yet succeeded, though someday I might 

I just don’t have time now to sit back and take stock

Of what’s in my future and what I’ve forgot

If driven is dangerous, I’m already on fire

Just don't let me burn out in the face of them all

There is no conclusion no poetic repose

To finish a story as it yet unfolds

The equivocation in all that we say

Is the fun that we’re having, let’s keep it that way

How did this happen? When did this begin

The words were stunning, that the trusted man had said

I silently laughed, fear I can’t ignore

Is someone knocking, Mister C at my front door? 

A journey awaits like none you’ve seen

The outlook seems good but there's no guarantee

One day it will all feel like a bad dream

And all the thoughts that follow had my mind in extremes

Poking and prodding became part of my day

To get to the root and the cause of my pain

Every step was managed, every measure marked

Meticulous perfection, to point a saving dart

Invisible armies invaded my space

Invasive molesters and testers took aim

Don’t tell me the details, I’ll just look away

With my silent thoughts that followed the battle quietly raged

Can the Universe help me catch a break?

Tell me it’s a big mistake

And how it came that you selected me

I need to find a place to hide

Collect my thoughts while on this ride

Return myself to who I used to be

I gauge the impact daily, ensure that I don’t fail

Account for my well-being, in a mirror and a scale

Appearance is deceiving, hide what lies inside

I’ll shine an optimistic light, maintain my sense of pride

Look far in the distance where the road ends

With constant support from family and friends

The God and the Angels on which I depend

And the thoughts that boldly followed gave me power to contend

Can the Universe help me catch a break

Tell me it's a big mistake...

Sounds from the Kitchen make me think of home

The one that we're all forced to leave

The feel of yesterday is on my skin

I pray that it'll never leave

There’s a thing we all remember

A word, a smell, a place, a time

It brings that tactile vivid picture

Of who we are or were and why

If it looks the same, then it is the same
If it sounds the same, then it is the same

What's in a name, a name, a name

The labels all too freely given

They stick to us tenaciously

Book cover content disconnected  

A window through which none can see 

We think of home our loves and losses

As if they are only in the past

They are always right here with us

To hold or discard use or pass

Wasn’t like I planned this, or meant to feel this way

My desire to leave here, means that, I’ll probably stay 

Not sure where I’m going, or if you’ll be along for the ride

Guess I’ll call out directions when I get to the line

When I left my home town, Couldn’t wait to leave it behind

The bigotry and hatred in that small town mind

Thought new friends would get me, I’d feel no longer out of place

But when I got to the next town it was always just the same

I’ve been running all my life

Never getting to where I’m going

Trying to be somebody else

Stop running, start being myself

When I fought with my family, I felt I was standing alone

My independence was always the brightest star I owned

When I talked to them later of their love I’d never forget 

My pride tasted sweeter than all the years of my regret

Searching searching seeking 

For God alone knows what 

I’m Just another export 

From my country that I never forgot

A gypsy rhythm of living 

Is what my father gave to me

Drinking in life as it comes

Was always my philosophy 

When I left my Homeland, I left everything behind

Including all of the drama that had built up in my mind

Whatever I dreamed of, I guess some of it came true

But the gift I’ve was given has always just been you